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The Gospel According to Brian's Class

Jesus and the hermit

After being baptised by John, Jesus felt the need to think on his own so he ventured out into the wilderness. On the third day he met a hermit.

“How long have you been here?” asked Jesus tentatively. “Well, I’m not sure.” Replied the hermit, scratching his long wiry beard. “I came out here to self-isolate when there was a virus spreading and making people ill. Oh, it must be 40 -odd years ago now. Have you come to tell me it’s ok to return home now?”

Jesus thought about this and replied “Some say it’s safe while others are still cautious as there may well be a recurrence – but tell me, how do you enjoy being out in the wilderness?
The hermit answered  “I just love the peace & quiet.” 
Jesus continued “ Do many travellers pass this way?
“No” replied the hermit sharply.
Jesus enquired “ What about the wild animals?”
“They don’t bother me.” Was the Hermit’s repy.
“Do you know who I am?” Asked Jesus
To which the hermit, feeling harassed, tartly said “No, and you ask far too many questions, so leave me be.”
Jesus did as he was asked, but this caused him to think.

 

Jesus continued wandering…
The next day he saw another hermit  and sat down for a rest.

The Hermit said. "You can't sit there unless you pass my test."

And Jesus thinking, well maybe this could be a good way to spend the day,

Smiled and nodded then waited to see what the Hermit would say.

 

"I've wandered around for 70 years looking, watching and learning.

The conclusion I've come to is. It was just a waste, I'll tell you what I'm yearning".

"To find Love. I've seen it happen to others

In streets and in Inns and under the covers!

But it's never happened to me

So this test for you will be.

With your magic and miracles, your thoughts and your power.

Please find me a True-love, a beautiful desert flower."

 

Now Jesus - he thought this is very trick....ee

But this task has stumped even me.

"Okay," said Jesus. "Just close your eyes."

For in the distance he had heard some camel cries.

Knowing the caravan would have a lady or two

He summoned up a whirl-wind and they came into view.

Exotic ladies danced "The Dance of the 7 Veils" ending with a bow

In front of the Hermit, Jesus said,

"Open your eyes now."

"It's true," the Hermit said. "You are Him, I should have listened when I heard.

Thank-you Oh Master you have kept to your word."

 

The moral of the story is :

Perhaps it's all worth waiting for?

 

Jesus was pleased that he had at least brought a smile to this man’s face, whether he found love or not he could not tell. He continued his journey for another ten days before coming across yet another hermit called Herman, who had lived in his cave for many years as his sight gradually but surely got worse and worse.

 

 

Herman the Hermit was in front of his cave

When someone approached him. (He thought it was Dave.)

The man looked so tired and in need of a rest.

He said, “I’m exhausted.  I’ve been put to the test!

 

The Devil has asked me to make bread out of stone,

But I answered, ‘Man can’t live by breadsticks alone’.”

The Hermit said, “Dave, what a great thing to say!

I guess you ignored him and went on your way?”

 

Jesus said, “On the Temple, I was told, ‘Throw yourself down

The angels will catch you so you won’t hit the ground’.

But I answered him, “Don’t put the Lord to the test!

I’m going to leave now: I’m not at your behest’.”

 

Then Herman said, “I foresee that the Devil will take you up high

To show you the kingdoms, and then he will try

To get you to worship him.  Don’t get taken in.

If you do, you’ll have failed. You’ll have sinned.  He will win!”

 

Jesus said, “Thank you, Herman, I’ll be on my guard.

I’ll ignore the Devil even though it is hard.

I will worship the Lord and serve only Him

So you and mankind will be saved from your sin.”

 

Jesus felt stronger and ready to face the next gruelling fortnight in the wilderness.
 

Contributions from Hazel, Lorna, Kate, Alison, Brian and Kath


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